Everybody Wants To Love.. Including Cocaine Users.

So.. SO... You people out there.. in this beautiful world.. have no idea what I went through this weekend.. WHOA.. Take a moment... Take a breathe.. and prepare yourself for the crazy story I am about to tell.
I find these last two years have been a period in my life where I have experiences a lot of firsts.. First place on my own.. first car accident.. first worst sex experience.. first decline for a credit card.. etc etc etc.. Well this weekend my friends.. was yet another first.. and not a good one. I had by far... the worst date... of my whole life.. And I am going to tell this story in all of its truth.. I will hide nothing. At the end of it.. I take a lot of blame for it considering.. I kind of reverted back to the old Emily for 24hrs who really is too forgiving and too generous.  I thought I locked this Emily in a cage at the back of my brain.. because.. she can not be trusted, she is stupid and naive and too generous etc.. She is really irritating.. I don't like her to come out. But you have to understand if you had that one crush from high school that you see years later and that person somehow breaks free.. and you have to follow through for that inner person inside yourself. Especially for me who was a hot mess in high school and didn't have a lot of boys who liked me back. So this is your preparation for this story..

So... a few weeks ago I ran into this guy in my home town that I had a huge crush on back in the day.. and
My inner Emily escaped.. for the sake of this story.. because I really don't feel like I was myself for the time I conversed with this person, I'm going to refer to my inner self as Sophie - why Sophie.. because it sounds like the sweet, naive kind of name that really suits how I feel about my inner self. NOT KNOCKING THAT NAME- just saying feels like it suits this story.

So we started talking.. Sophie and the Crush spoke for like.. 2 weeks.. Great convos.. but this person is really not someone I would usually even take a second look at. My mother... WOULD FREAK.. if I brought him this person.
1. Has 2 Kids
2. Never graduated high school
3. Has 2 bench warrants for his arrest- not one... TWO.
4. An ex baby mama of 8 yrs. with a LOT of baby mama dramz.
4. Is currently sleeping on his aunt's couch.
5. Jobless
JUST TO NAME A FEW.. but sometimes your heart sees past these kind of things.. Which is really ridiculous because you know what people.. at the end of the day.. Your Head is what has eyes attached.. not your heart... Not that I don't believe in lurveeee but.. shiz has got to make sense before you jump into something.. and obviously.. this guy.. is not making sense.. Right? right..

So.. We had been talking for 2 weeks about him coming into town this weekend and us hanging out (well he was supposed to come last weekend but couldn't come for family reasons)- so he told me that he was coming up Thursday to see his kids and that as of Friday night- I could have him all weekend. I was super excited- I prepared myself.. With delicious food.. and I looked fab etc. On Friday.. I went for a massage (delicious) at 3pm and then went to the mall to finish my Christmas Shopping.. As I'm shopping.. I'm wondering, when exactly he is going to call me since its about 5:30 at this point.. and it is funny how every person has a different definition of what "night" is- so as of Friday night he will be mine.. what is night exactly.. you know? Anyways, so I go get some Christmas cards and as I'm leaving the store.. I walk literally right into him.. FATE NO?....... NO!... It was the Devil.. I wish I never would have ran into him.. I really do..
He turned around with a big smile on his face.. and asked me what I was doing there.. making convo etc.. and he was with a friend. Then he says he has been drinking.. and shows me the beer can in his pocket.. so at this point I'm wondering.. if I had ever ran into him just now.. do you think I would have ever heard from him? Anyways..

He is there with a friend.. the brother of the Baby Mama.. and it becomes quickly evident.. that my crush wants to hang out with me.. but the friend is being a stage 5 clinger to his friend and also wants to come. So I settle figuring.. I have him for the whole weekend.. I'm sure he hasn't seen his friend in a while.. I can hang out with them both.. whatever who cares.. so then..I bring them to my place for some drinks.. Since I had bought his favourite alcohol.. argh... Damn Sophie. They drink it all and then the friend all of a sudden wants to go on a rode trip to brockville.. which I'm not really feeling.. but they say that one of their friends is having friends over or something.. so I'm like fine whatever. And he gives me gas money.  As we are driving to brockville.. the friend begins to open the back door of my car as I'm going 120k and puking out the side of my car. I end up pulling over on the side of the road.. he pukes more.. and pees.. then back in the car.. and vomits again.. Amazing..

We get to brockville.. we go to some guys house that I know because he used to check me out when I would get take out from Swiss Chalet.. and his girlfriend used to go to my church. And they call over some other friend. And maybe I'm slow or something.. or again.. it was Sophie.. So naive.. but they sit down on the couch with this friend talking about something.. and I assume they are buying weed. And then start trying to come up with a $100... and I'm like..t hats pretty expensive for weed... lol And then the guy pulls out a little baggy of white powder... and honestly.. even typing this.. my arms get all stiff because.. I have a serious drug phobia.. like its bad.. and I had never seen that stuff in person before.. it was terrifying.. and the vomiting friend.. grabs the bag and runs off to the basement.. and at this moment.. I am honestly speechless and paralyzed .. my crush talks a bit more with the guy and then goes downstairs.. and I swear I opened my mouth to tell him no.. but nothing came out I was too freaked out..

I sat there.. they came back up.. blatantly tripping out.. grinding their teeth etc.. I sat there.. texting friends on my phone trying to relax and.. almost in tears.. And most people are like.. why didn't you just leave.. but I didn't leave because.. they had no way back.. I felt obligated.. stupid.. but true..They go back down.. do it again.. and then I wait until they are ready to go... and we drive back.. The whole time.. with the friend tripping his shit out in the back seat. Tried to start.. cutting up.. or whatever.. what he had left in my backseat.. I freaked out on him.. told about my drug phobia.. where they both instantly apologized like crazy.

We drive back to Ottawa.. and they ask to go by one more friends house who my crush hasn't seen in a long time.. I say fine.. Go there.. As soon as the committing friends butt hits the couch he whips out what he has left in his little baggy.. I ask him to go in the other room.. and they all go in there AGAIN and do that.. I watch everyone trip out for like an hour..not even an hour.. and the vomiting friend starts freaking out wanting more. Says he can get some in Vanier.. (The Ghetto..) and since I refuse to drive him.. leaves and goes to walk there in nothing but a t shirt in the middle of winter (and that shit wasn't close) - so my crush begs me just to go pick him up and drive him and I give in  because.. of Sophie.. and because i felt bad for the guy..

I drive them to Vanier.. he tells me to wait in the car with it off... I get to 45 minutes of waiting before my toes get numb from the cold and turn my car on.. I wait for an hour and 15 minutes.. before they come back.. get in the car.. go back to the other friends house.. My crush stays with me while the other two go do more.. We finally leave.. withoutttt the vomiting friend and go to my house. Where you know what.. I let Sophie free to enjoy the boy.. Because at the end of the day.. I realized that all that really interested me ever in that person was the shell.. and.. after the night I had.. it felt good to feel safe..and intimate with someone ya know? Having someone hold you and kiss you.. after being honestly traumatized. And then the next day.. I drive him out to the friends house.. because apparently his kids were there.. again .. I was supposed to have him the whole weekend but at this point.. I didn't really care... He promised to call me the next day to go with me to a birthday party.. but I knew he wouldn't call.. I was actually praying he wouldn't.. Because it really would be like beating a dead horse.. and I hate that expression.. but in this case its true.. There was nothing to come of this. I had gotten the most ever possible out of this experience and it was time to run for my life from someone who could potentially ruin my world. Thank gawd I saw the poo before stepping in it ,, and stepped over it.. If you know what I be saying. So he didn't call.. and yesterday I sent him a message on facebook- had to since he doesn't have a phone- just basically saying.. I wished him the best of luck with his life.. and that I'm too good for him.. And ya.. that was my weekend..

WORST DATE EVA! lol
But you know.. I learned from it.. That even though somethings do happen for a reason... others don't happen for a reason.. I think there is a reason why I was kept far from this person in my teenage years.. because obviously.. he is nothing but trouble.. but.. at the end of the day I did learn something from the experience.. and I will never put myself in that kind of situation again.

C'est Effing Ca