Like A Map With No Ocean

Why is it that we choose to like the people we like?
Especially the ones you don't want to like...but somehow they seem to captivate you? Why do we put ourselves out there? All exposed with our feelings across our foreheads and our hearts on our sleeves ..nothing but the best intentions and expecting nothing but the best out of people. Expecting the person who gets to see your feelings and your heart won't turn out to point and laugh at you or.. take your heart and rip it to shreds... When I say we.. I mean me of course. Why do I do this..? Why do I expect every person to be nice? I really wish I was a person that wasn't so sensitive. That didn't care as much as I choose to care for people. Or do things for people that give me absolutely nothing in return. I just feel like it is not the type of person I am.. I tend to be really picky.so..If I like someone.. I put myself right out there as soon as possible.. here are my cards.. this is me.. do you like me or not?.. if not then oh well (whomp whomppp).. if yes then awesome.. let's rock and roll. But with this.. you get those people that choose to leave you in limbo. They avoid giving you an answer. I haven't really figured out why this is? Maybe.. for their own amusement.. maybe.. its an ego boost... to keep someone on the back burner for a day where you might need a compliment or something... sheer cruelty.. just being cautious maybe... maybe too fearful to hurt some one's feelings by telling me no... Either way.. They all pretty much suck. I like to think I have never done this to a person. And if I have.. after feeling what this feels like I will never do it again. I feel so exposed..like I'm standing in a room naked with one person standing behind a one way mirror so I can't see them but they can see me. And I can't see their reaction. Its just embarrassing.. and frustrating.. and humiliating .. and annoying.. to wait and wonder. Spare me the fluff.. I just want to know.. ya know?  I'm not looking to marry anyone here.. but like, I'd like to know whether or not someone likes me even a little bit.. so much to ask? Instead I feel like a little play thing.. like the toy you squeeze whenever you are bored just to hear it say "I love you!" or "You are awesome!" ETC..And it sucks because.. I think I'm a pretty awesome person with a lot to offer.. but at the same time.. my heart is made out of paper mache or something.. just a little flick makes me super sad sometimes... And when someone leaves you in this limbo from hell.. its hard not to feel like crap a bit..  Anyways.. had to rant.. get that out..